Wednesday, September 12, 2007

September 12, 1956

That was the day that Julie Ann Chvojicek came into this world.

June 8, 2006
That was the day she left it.

The 49 years inbetween can't be summed up by any amount of words, so I won't try. But, I do want my mom to know that I think about her all the time, I miss her like crazy, and I love her even more.

I second Tianna's motion that sometimes it feels like a dream. The urge to go to my parent's house is so strong at times that it makes me want to go the furthest place away from it, just so the option isn't even available. Those that know me can attest to this urge, because they've seen me run, they've seen me move. Maybe they didn't understand the reasons, but hopefully they do now.

I have come to realize that just because I'm an adult, it doesn't mean I still don't need my parents. I tried to do everything I could for them in their last days, when really I just wanted them to hug me and tell me it was going to be all right. While still honoring their memories is an important part of my life, what happens when the only people around me with memories of them are very few? Will they understand my needing and wanting to have private time, or needing to be around people because otherwise I will just sit by myself and cry? It's a weird feeling to have, and not one that I will ever fully understand myself.

I know that my mom would have loved turning 51 today. I would have taken her out to eat; we probably would have gone to the Hitching Post, or maybe made the big trek into the Dells for something else. I would have tried to do somethng special for her. She would have loved it. No matter what, my mother always made me feel loved and I wish that I could have spent more time with her. And I hope she knows I loved her just as much, if not more, than she loved me. I'm so glad that the last words we ever spoke to each other were "I love you".

Happy Birthday Mom. Don't worry, I'll sing it in my head for you!

2 thoughts on the matter:

Anonymous said...

Your Mom was a great lady and I know she loved you and was proud of you. The last month she was in Durand I took her out to eat a couple of times and she talked about you and T and how much you guys meant to her. We still miss her and your dad here in Durand. We went to hear the Luddington band this past summer and it just wasn't the same. I could envision you and your mom on a bench listening. Happy Birthday to your mom. I know she is smiling down on you both.

Linda B

Kelly said...

Oh my Ande! I wish I could be there to give you a hug! Your parents were so proud of you both and loved you so much. I wish I knew what to say other than I love you and you have a large group of friends that surround you and are there for you anytime at all! Miss you!